Thursday, December 10, 2009
Time check, 9.17am on a Thursday morning.
I guess its just appropriate for me to post an entry before I get into another busy day at work. The past 2 weeks has been hectic. I think I've never worked so hard in this job since I joined the company. By the end of the month, one of my colleague is leaving and Im going to temporarily take over the work till the 2nd quarter of next year. I don't see it as a challenge to do her stuff for a period of a few months, but the challenge comes when everything that I'm supposed to take over is in a horrible mess. I have to re-do most of the spreadsheets. To make matters worst, the auditor is coming for a physical stock take next week and I'm still trying to figure out all the discrepancy from the stock list. It's very hard to find the discrepancy as the stocks move very fast and different clients may use the same stock periodically. Big big headache.
I couldn't understand the spreadsheets at all. Under the comments box in a cell of a spreadsheet, I see things like that: 45+1+4+1-3-1-1-+1+1+3+5-6.......... This kind of equation that fills a quarter of a Microsoft word document. I seriously think that my calculator will go bonkers if I really attempt to key in this equation. That's not all, I have another cell in the spreadsheet, when I mouse over the comment box and copied out what's inside that yellow pop out box, I pasted a total of 4 Microsoft word pages full of words in that little yellow box. I nearly fainted. My decision was to ignore all these weird looking spreadsheets and do up my own stock list with the NECESSARY information. I only want to keep ONE spreadsheet. All reports can be generated from THAT spreadsheet. Because of this decision, I suffered a great deal of putting everything together.
Work was a challenge this whole month. With so many other events coming up, I don't know how I can ever balance myself well in the midst of all these. Wake me up when December ends. Girls are just emo freaks. I look at my hands full of commitments, I tear. Not because I don't like these commitments, but I think so highly of myself that I can handle so many things. My capacity to hold up these things is breaking. Will I ever burn out? EW reminded me of how I should learn to 'kan kai dian' on the situations. Am I really pushing myself too hard? Having a desire to want to get things done in the fastest way seemed to be burning me out. I recalled a phrase that someone once said, that we shouldn't put on such a big hat when we don't have such a big head. So then, am I trying to put on a hat that's so huge for me?
Family, work, ministry and personal time. Is there always something in our life that we have to compromise in order to make another portion work? Is this the real world? When I feel overwhelmed, I still have to make things happen. No matter what. Who or what is the motive behind what I do? God, you alone are more than enough for me. I have to check my motive even behind every good work, to ensure that I am doing not just the good things, but also the 'God' things.
Been going for MPM this week and I'm very glad to know that God cares. He who is in me is greater than he who is in the world. He is the vine and I am the branch, abide in him and I will flourish. Manna WOG. Precious to me as I face my challenges. There's times when i feel so unloved by people. So what if I make things happen for them? It always ends up making me tired, and not a word of gratefulness at times? But when I try to make things happen, yet it doesn't, not just guilt hits, people around starts to question me. What a world we live in. As I thought of all these, I found myself reading the WOG on the crucifiction. Cruel and heartless people wanting to see blood splashed all over the cross. Yet at the very end, He still remains faithful and endured too. What a courage, such a great example for me.
Your Word is a lamp onto my feet, and a light onto my path......... Keep me in prayer friends, I wish to be an overcomer.
9:17 AM
